Hello Reader

I was on a call with a client a couple of weeks ago and she asked "Why don't we take better care of ourselves Jihane?".

She's had a stellar carrier as an executive in banking. She is a brilliant, accomplished, and loving mother of two, realizing that it's time for her to make a change for her health.

We're working together on making her health a non-negotiable.

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We have to be very careful with "Why" questions.

Depending on the answer, they can enable us to build narratives that keep us stuck... Also known as excuses.

This year, I decided to go all in on strength training.

As a 42-year old mother of two, with no experience in weight lifting, I can tell you that the #1 reason I have been able to go the gym multiple times per week, and that I am now so much stronger than I was 6 months ago, is the decision to have NO EXCUSE.

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I decided that I will find a way no matter what.

And once you make that decision, the magic happens: you find a way, no matter what.

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Common beliefs and behaviors that explain why most of us don't take care of ourselves:

• Lack of habits and role models​
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  I don't know about you, but my parents are more of an example of what NOT to do if you want to age strong and healthy, than role models.
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  The environment we grew in shapes our health behaviors. So it takes conscious effort to make a change.
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• Waiting for a health scare to take action​
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  I sometimes think we tend to take health for granted, until something breaks down, or we get a serious wake-up call.
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  ​And it's often almost too late in some cases.​
  Because we don't always know what's going on under the hood.
  Which is why I advocate for more testing, as I shared in "The life meter: what markers to include in your personal dashboard for longevity, part 1, part 2 and part 3"
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  I think this is best illustrated by Dr. Peter Attia when he talks about the fact that the most common presentation of a heart attack is death.
  This should be a sobering fact and a strong argument for taking a proactive approach to our health.
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• Meeting the needs of everyone else first​
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  We've all been there: first provide, first take care of the kids. It's a beautiful human trait, to want to nurture our loved ones.
  But just like putting on the oxygen mask on our face before helping others, we should make our health a priority.
  Put yourself first.
  That is the opposite of selfish.
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  Because you can't pour from an empty cup. What is there to give when you live a depleted lifestyle?
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  ​If you think self-care is selfish, try the opposite and see what kind of worries, headaches and emotional toll your declining health put on your kids.
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  ​If you, like me, have aging parents that are now reaping the harvest of a lifetime of smoking, neglect and lack of exercise, you know what I mean.
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• Thinking that being proactive is time consuming, instead of moment-to-moment micro decisions​
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  We think of working out as just something else we have to do, something more on the "to-do" list.
  Of course you don't have time to put on more. That is 100% true.
  But building a healthy life happens with the small daily choices that we make.
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  ​The trick is to find out that going to the gym, to get stronger and increase your energy, is in fact a way to get more done, because you increase your capacity.

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If you feel like everything would have to change in your life for you to be able to make health a priority,

I want to tell you, I have been there.

Finding childcare, working less hours, making more money to invest in a gym membership, the list goes on.

There will never be a time in your life when all the circumstances align.

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The only thing that has to change is you.

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Isn't that liberating? It's all in your hands!

A final tip on this topic of taking care of ourselves, and making health a priority.

Back when I decided to quit all of my destructive ways (lying, drinking, smoking,...), the first step for me was to think of myself as someone who is worth taking care of.

My mindfulness practice then helped me solidify this mental image with the "loving kindness" practice.

I share more about this, with a bonus guided meditation to practice this, in my upcoming mini-course, Bettter day Blueprint.
So keep your eyes out for more on that on Monday.

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In the meantime,

You are worth it Reader

Have an awesome weekend

Cheers
Jihane

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